i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
