I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
