Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Congratulations! We have a period
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