YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
