I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
