I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
