i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
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we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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