Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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