My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
