I don't think brook has ever known best
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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