It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
They took my balls.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Randomize