I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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