My hand turned me down
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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