He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.