Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way

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(240): View more from Maryland

At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka

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(718): View more from New York

"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.

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29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(404): View more from Georgia

my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.

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(804): View more from Virginia

third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem

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(630): View more from Illinois

I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude

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(860): View more from Connecticut

If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

Fair enough.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.

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