Texts From Last Night

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  (541): View more from Oregon

  someone get that fucking seahorse.

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  (541): someone get that fucking seahorse. http://tfl.nu/vz56
  Replies (20) Good night (2774) Bad night (621)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely

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  (317): it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely http://tfl.nu/75r5
  Replies (8) Good night (4049) Bad night (601)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid

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  (630): I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid http://tfl.nu/l9sh
  Replies (10) Good night (2902) Bad night (1220)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.

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  (641): I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting. http://tfl.nu/pz3u
  Replies (27) Good night (9090) Bad night (932)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth

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  (+44): I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth http://tfl.nu/v9jy
  Replies (10) Good night (1535) Bad night (1055)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?

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  (614): He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual? http://tfl.nu/dfsm
  Replies (7) Good night (2738) Bad night (1136)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.

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  (843): I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes. http://tfl.nu/lhf2
  Replies (28) Good night (1192) Bad night (4193)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.

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  (763): The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins. http://tfl.nu/k74l
  Replies (8) Good night (2624) Bad night (859)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears

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  (218): Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears http://tfl.nu/spts
  Replies (1) Good night (719) Bad night (1098)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why

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  (630): Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why http://tfl.nu/bkyw
  Replies (8) Good night (1275) Bad night (884)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates

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  (305): So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates http://tfl.nu/kad8
  Replies (11) Good night (454) Bad night (1755)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.

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  (610): So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house. http://tfl.nu/bt1m
  Replies (16) Good night (1584) Bad night (587)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.

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  (860): Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both. http://tfl.nu/abj8
  Replies (7) Good night (1846) Bad night (532)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after

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  (403): His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after http://tfl.nu/sq85
  Replies (5) Good night (316) Bad night (775)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick

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  (812): This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick http://tfl.nu/hypd
  Replies (1) Good night (305) Bad night (544)

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