I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls