Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.

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(516): View more from New York

so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I think there was chlamydia in those woods.

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(315): View more from New York

If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".

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These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
Read it at the TFLN blog
(949): View more from California

Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.

(562): View more from California

The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me

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(336): View more from North Carolina

He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.

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(515): View more from Iowa

Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.

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