Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.

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  (513): So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!" (1-513): You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks. http://tfl.nu/bvbo
  Replies (30) Good night (844) Bad night (1791)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick

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  (813): from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick http://tfl.nu/923d
  Replies (17) Good night (5482) Bad night (797)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal

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  (937): Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal http://tfl.nu/rcec
  Replies (25) Good night (5014) Bad night (2064)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.

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  (256): I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources. http://tfl.nu/m7l9
  Replies (28) Good night (3916) Bad night (1530)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.

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  (512): I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me. http://tfl.nu/y2u9
  Replies (10) Good night (1031) Bad night (3304)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.

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  (979): She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today. http://tfl.nu/i2c6
  Replies (8) Good night (956) Bad night (5399)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.

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  (828): Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times. http://tfl.nu/we9q
  Replies (12) Good night (3000) Bad night (760)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle

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  (412): I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle http://tfl.nu/d1bx
  Replies (1) Good night (706) Bad night (1327)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.

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  (302): Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one. http://tfl.nu/7sz8
  Replies (9) Good night (2414) Bad night (847)
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  (244): View more from

  There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other

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  (244): There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other http://tfl.nu/rd7y
  Replies (2) Good night (1842) Bad night (844)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.

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  (303): Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit. http://tfl.nu/weri
  Replies (1) Good night (576) Bad night (1486)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.

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  (607): Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage. http://tfl.nu/h8mr
  Replies (3) Good night (1027) Bad night (532)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.

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  (719): I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know. http://tfl.nu/zd6h
  Replies (5) Good night (756) Bad night (1373)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?

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  (612): did you just take a shot to penises and friendship? http://tfl.nu/wdge
  Replies (2) Good night (701) Bad night (300)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me

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  (971): Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me http://tfl.nu/x6ff
  Replies (0) Good night (589) Bad night (295)

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