then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
