Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize