In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
