You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I love you.
Bad choice
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
