I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
