If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
