I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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