it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
