I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
