i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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