"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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