drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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