Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
