My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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