did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
