I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
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she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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