Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
