he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
