this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
