Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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