atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
