I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
