I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
