how hairy? two words: wookie tits
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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