She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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