she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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