you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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