If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
i think my cat just said my name.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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