Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics