It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
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Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix