Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
