i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.