I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
