So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
