I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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