yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
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