I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
