If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
