Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
