I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
