If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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