Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
