just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
