Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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