I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
All the doctor said was why
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
