just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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