How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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