can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
