just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
