So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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